This blog is late, but work is 110% of my life right now. Taking time for blog posts...who has time for that? But I made a promise, mostly to myself, but a promise nonetheless. These blogs will tell a story, eventually, but before that we’re going to skip around a lot.
Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with work, with home life, with health problems. I absolutely cannot keep up with life. But I’ve been trying. I put on my smiley face and I walk amongst the crowds and I try. Somehow, I’m producing at work. Not timely, but I’m producing. Somehow, the bills are paid, and we haven’t been evicted yet. Somehow, I haven’t ended up in the hospital…well again…and I get up every day without getting sick. My daughter gets to school, as far as I know she gets that support she needs. She hasn’t said otherwise.
In the meantime, at the end of the day I don’t remember a thing that I did. Was I successful? Did I fail someone? What’s going to go wrong tomorrow? Something is absolutely going to go wrong tomorrow.
The thing is, these are everyday motions. I go through these motions. I don’t enjoy them. I want to enjoy them. I didn’t go to college and grad school in my 30’s and begin my career in my 40’s to go through the motions. I wanted to live. I wasn’t living before, I want to live now. I want to be a mom, a wife, a therapist, and the best damn worker the agency has. The thing is…I’m tired. I’m tired all the time. I put so much in and get so little out that I get so tired. Not to mention, illness happened. It slowed me down incredibly. (People, taking care of your health should always be your number one priority. ALWAYS.)
So, I’m stuck. I know what I want. How do I get there? Mindfulness? Self-care? I’ll find the path, because that’s what I do. I find solutions, and I always have.
In the meantime, I’ll keep rocking this happy face, this smile, and moving forward with my life and my career. It will all fall into place. Just don’t ever think it comes easy, and that it ever stops becoming work. Success is work. Success is the goal.
I am a Master Social Work graduate from UGA, and absolutely LOVE what I do. I specialize in DBT therapy, and enjoy working adolescent teens and adults (ages 12 & up). I hope you enjoy my blog, it's been a long time in the making! *HUGS!*