STHISBlack Lives Matter...it's on the tongue of every American right now. Whether it be in agreement or disagreement, you're thinking about the movement. Defunding the police, it's out there too. I generally do not like to get involved in politics. It's damaged several friendships and family relationships, so I just kept to myself, my husband, and my daughter. But now...it's just not working anymore. The social worker in me needs to begin speaking out. I allowed myself to get away from what I believe in for the sake of not hurting feelings or causing an argument. Well...I just can't do that anymore.
The death of minorities, be it black, Native American, Asian, Hispanic...it's happening to all. This movement, Black Lives Matter, is only the beginning of the talk. When you say All Lives Matter, well no shit, but not all lives are treated like criminals such as the black population. I read an article today of a young black teenager who has rules to follow when he leaves the house in an effort to not piss off police or any other person that may consider him suspicious. He has to think about the possibility of being arrested or killed every time he leaves his home. His mother has to set her heart up for grief every time he leaves the house. This is truly unacceptable! I not one time have had this worry about my daughter leaving the home, and I ashamed that I've never viewed it like this before. I am truly ashamed at myself for keeping my head in the sand for so long.
Systemic racism is real, whether you want to admit it or not. How do we fix it? Is it fixable? Can our nation recover from this? I don't know the answer, but I know it's something we need to start talking about and open our hearts to the Black Lives Matter movement. We need to raise our voices, we need to make sure EVERYONE is voting. It's time to remember this country was built as a refuge and based on freedom of all people who came here. A land of hope is what we are supposed to be.
As for defunding the police...I'm all for it. Even the President of the Police Union stated that the police need defunded in an effort to fund services and programs. Why? He says "the nature of police work has evolved. We are also now therapists, drug counselors, social workers, and EMT's, AMONG OTHER THINGS. THIS IS THE PROBLEM. We have experts in these fields who should be the first contacted. FUND SERVICES NOT POLICE!" I went to school for a very long time to become a social worker/therapist. It takes time to learn what you need to do to be successful in a career, and police officers does not have time to learn to be it all. This is what we need. Not more police. Not more laws. We just need to help.
I feel like this one is all over the place. I'm not sure I care. You'll hear from me more on this. See their names, say their names. #blacklivesmatter#carenotcops
Things have to change people. First of all, this blog needs more attention. So here I am. In an effort to begin marketing and networking for myself, here I am. But, how do you market and network with social anxiety? Really? Anyone know?
Once in front of people, I rock it. However, getting me in front of people...that's a whole other deal. You want me to email? I got you. You want me to make copies and mail? I got you. You want me to cold call? What? Are you a nut job? Seriously, who invented that strategy? It works though right? So yeah, gotta do it.
So here I am, a semi new practitioner trying to market and network with social anxiety. Why can't they just like me and come see me? Please, if you're reading this...I'm an awesome therapist. Just come check me out!
Anyhow people, the point is...social anxiety. How do we recover? How do we get through this in high demand people facing careers. (I'm gonna sell now...) . It's called using your DBT skills. Using your distress tolerance skills to radically accept that this is what needs to happen, and then lower your heart rate. It's using your mindfulness on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times, to center yourself and bring a sense of calm so you can get through your challenges. You need to use those interpersonal effectiveness skills to talk to people you find it difficult to talk to, and most importantly learn how to ask for things when you're too socially awkward to do so. Finally, emotionally regulating that anxiety and pushing it aside or using opposite action to move forward with the task at hand.
To learn more, I posted the oh so famous 'What the Heck Is DBT' video on my press page. Give it a gander. The video may be targeted at the youth, but DBT works for adults and older adults as well. If you find it interesting, reach out to me. I can help, or find you someone who can.
Have a good day people! Always smile!
I watch the morning news daily. I get a lot of news items in my mail box, most of which I take the time to read, and admittedly some I delete because I just don't have time. The point is, I like to be educated on what is going on. I'm not the type of person to go out and begin conversations on what I read or hear, I just like to educate myself. I pride myself on my knowledge base. Well, occasionally I see things that fire me up. Even with that, I don't necessarily share my opinions. I'm not an activist. I'm not a very vocalized person, however I have a big heart and it still feels. So this news article I'm about to go off about really just hit my heart in all the wrong places.
Family Dollar is about to begin selling alcohol in their stores. Now, to make it clear it won't be a dollar, but it's in Family Dollar so it won't be out of reach unaffordable either. So tell me, what is the need to market alcohol at a lower price in the areas that Family Dollars are located? I want to know who did this market research and said 'hey, this is a great fucking idea!'.
I'm not spending my blog post discussing the horrible idea this is. I'm not spending my time typing that this is another ploy to keep marginalized Americans marginalized. This is an attempt to introduce temptation to younger and younger individuals and ultimately encouraging criminalization. Nope, not gonna do it. I'm gonna let all the people who have spoken up already do that. Please see my 'Press' page and read.
I'm very disappointed in favored majority that sat in a room and decided this was a great idea. I'm very disappointed in the people who continue to run this country with their eyes closed and pretend these things are not real.
What are we going to do? We can't boycott. Some American families need these stores. Hell, my small hometown no houses a distribution center for these stores. They would not exist without this distribution center. But, something needs to be done. Help. We need to help marginalized American's and prevent further criminalization of their lifestyles.
I subscribe to a service that shares articles of my interest on the daily. Usually it's all mental health related, but there is some lifestyle stuff in there too. Today one of the articles was a duplicate from before, that apparently I did not read mindfully the first time around. (Shh...don't tell...) I re-read it today and came across this gold nugget.
"Some professional advice: If you're trying to do something next to impossible, carve out some crying time. There's no shame there. Just cry. What you're going through is f-ing hard." - Jessica Wildfire
Where was this nugget when I was in grad school? Where was it when I started working again after ten years of unemployment? That was hard, but I was raised very differently. Women do not cry, women carry the family through and make sure it's taken care of. NO CRYING. But, in all honesty there should not be any guilt in crying and letting it out.
But, I want to remind you that good coping skills are always a good tool to have around. Play guitar, color, draw thousands of stick people, whatever makes you happy. Go out and try that thing you've always wanted to try but never did. Now's the time. Build those positive experiences. Build your happiness. Hopefully, the hard things won't be so hard if you're surrounding yourself with good things.
I'm not saying don't cry, by all means do it! We all need a good cry! I just want to remind everyone that life is hard, but it's meant to be fun too. This article was about proving people wrong and doing what you want to do. (BTW...it's posted on the 'Press' page) I'm all for that! It's your life! Do with it what you want, just enjoy it!
So the point is, build those coping skills, cry when you need to cry, just be sure you're doing what makes you happy and will be your reward in the end. Read the article on the 'Press' page. Become inspired!
Now...to share my favorite skit on crying...Admit it...we've all been there!
Dane Cook: Weep-a-thon
This past weekend I got to experience something really amazing, an almost spiritual experience. I met some amazing people. People like me. Passionate people. It sounds silly, but it's true. I'd like to give a quick shout out to the AKF Squad of SPN Survivors (https://spnsurvivors.org/akf-squad/) for allowing me the opportunity to speak with you and possibly become part of your community. I'd also like to thank IMALIVE (https://www.imalive.org/) for bringing me in on their conversation, offering me to be part of their family, and to spread their word through my practice.
These people understand what it means to lose, or be on that threshold of loss that eats away at your heart and never get those pieces back. On the outside the problem may seem as if it fixed itself to others, but those who love you and you yourself know the difference. Organizations like this keep that alive and keep it in the spotlight.
I know this blog has been sparse, but I hope with time and support that will change. Sometimes you let the wrong things in life take over and you drown, well that's where I was people. I was drowning in some pretty dark waters. I'm hoping that all that has changed and I will be able to keep up on the good things in life.
Visit my friends websites. Read the book I so blatantly advertised on this page. Become inspired to tell your story. You can tell it here if you'd like. Just whatever you do, don't hide from it or keep it in. You need to get it out and share.
I love you all-Charity XOXO
First of all, it's been a while. I've been super busy making several transitions in life, all good transitions. The transitions have just been time consuming, and tiring. I find myself forgetting self-care A LOT!
You should know that at this point, the therapist in me is going to come out.
Mindfulness. (Also posted an article on this on the press page) . It's important. Not only to be aware of what is around you and to be present, but it's great for you mind and after practice little things like the toner won't be an issue. Eventually, little things won't be an issue at all. Go here for more help: www.mindful.org/how-to-practice-mindfulness/
My last suggestion, write it down. Keep a journal. Keep track of those negative emotions. When are you feeling them? What's happening at the time you are feeling them? What were your urges? How did you react? How did you feel about your reactions? Could you have reacted better? How could you react next time that would leave you with a more positive emotion?
Really, read the two articles related to his post. They are GOOD and very helpful.
Hey guys, have a happy day and remember to smile!
P.S. Sorry for the font, color, etc. changes. I am still learning!
Hello All! I'll be blogging again soon, just wanted you to know that you can now book appointments with me! Go to www.balanceandpotential.com to find me, or read my Psychology Today profile! Maybe I'll see you soon!
I am a Master Social Work graduate from UGA, and absolutely LOVE what I do. I specialize in DBT therapy, and enjoy working adolescent teens and adults (ages 12 & up). I hope you enjoy my blog, it's been a long time in the making! *HUGS!*